Assignment Editing Short Article Writing by Fazli Mawla Haafiz - Before Editing

 The image below is the original script before entering the editing.

                                                        

This post is the original article before entering the overall editing stage by me as the Editor of the Short Article written by Fazli Mawla Haafiz.

You can see a lot of mistakes in writing, and of course it makes the reader confused in reading the short article. Starting from sentences that are not suitable for use, to sentences that don't need to be in the short article

Editing Short Article on Youtube Channel

You can see a clearer explanation on my Youtube Channel below.

Thank you for viewing and listening to the video that I have made, I really appreciate it. I hope from this video, you can take the lessons that I have given.

Enjoyed the video!

Assignment Editing Short Article Writing by Fazli Mawla Haafiz - After Editing

At this time I would like to explain my views on the improvement of the short article that has been made by Fazli Mawla Haafiz.

Verbal Verification:

In this writing, the author is quite good at determining the sentences used, there are several mistakes in punctuations and need to be neat in every paragraph.

Overall this article is interesting to discuss because people can know much more about the duties of a Civil Engineer.

Editorial Judgment

I chose a few sentences that I think are not suitable in the application in this short article. Example are "Grew" it should be "Grow", and "Dam" it should be "Dams" not dam. I changed this word because I think this word is not quite right in the sentence.

The next sentences that I think is inaccurate is about Phrase and Semi Colon. For example something like "Early civil engineers, therefore, were called upon to build walls, roads, bridges, dams, and levees; and to dig wells, irrigation ditches, and trenches. " The word "and" before the levees must be removed, And the semicolon punctuation must be replaced with a comma. I think it should be like this "Early civil engineers were called upon to build walls, roads, bridges, dams, levees, and to dig wells, irrigation ditches, and trenches." And the next sentences that I think is inaccurate is about Punctuations. Example are "What does a civil engineer do?, is also varied. " I think the comma should not be needed anymore because it already uses a question mark. And after the question mark the first word should be capitalized.  

INTRODUCING MY SELF

Assalamu'alaikum Hallo Everyone😊

On this occasion,  I would like to introduce myself. My name Iron Jovanka Geraldi, you can call me Geral. I was born in Tangerang, Juli 12th 2003. Currently, I live in Pasar Kemis, Tangerang.

My last school in SMK NEGRI 1 Kab.Tangerang, and I graduate this years. Speaking of a hobby, my hobby is playing football and my football idol Lionel Messi. 

I have a very happy family, My father name Ano Prayitno and my mother name Giharni, I have two sisters the first name is Desta Ariffiani and second Ridho Handayani they are both married and my parents have two grand children.

For now I continue my education at University of Muhammadiyah Tangerang and I am majoring in Civil Engineering. The reason I took this major is because i see a huge job opportunity. After Graduating form University of Muhammadiyah Tangerang. I hope i can help build Infrastructure in Indonesia.

I guess that's all I can say about this introduction. Thank you very much. Welcome To My Blogg.

Wassalamu'alaikum Wr.Wb